Good evening, everyone:

After the fifth suggestion to this effect, I wanted to mark the beginning today of the Lunar/Chinese New Year and wish everyone a happy new year. I was reminded that, many years ago, my father sought to capture some of the energy of the New Year in San Francisco’s Chinatown.

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Each Lunar New Year comes equipped with one of twelve animals symbolizing a month of the Zodiac: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog Pig, and one other. Unfortunately, the “one other” is an animal is one whose very mention traumatizes me and, accordingly, whose name shall not be spoken, as Harry Potter would say.

That is a shame. Each animal is said to embody unique traits that influence the characteristics of individuals born under the signs of their respective years. Those born under the sign of the Dragon, for example are seen as possessing power and luck – think Rihanna or Martin Luther King, Jr.. Those born under the sign of the Rat are known for their political maneuvering and readiness to argue – think JD Vance or Kim Il Sung of North Korea. Those born under the sign of the Goat are known – go figure – not for their stubbornness, but instead for their romantic, and compassionate personalities – think George Harrison or Toni Morrison.

It is self-evident from these examples, and others, that the lottery of the Zodiac is fully determinative of critical aspects of life, including relationships, career choices, and personal development.

But . . . we then come to this year. A creature without legs. One that sheds skin on a regular basis. Because I was traumatized by the appearance of this creature in Tarzan television shows in the formative years of my life (a whole bucket-full of them filled up a cave Tarzan was trying to navigate – in a similar way to Harrison Ford’s experience in Raiders of the Lost Ark, although that was many years later) and kept haunting my tender sensibilities well into not only teenage-hood (where, for example, a very large version of the animal slithered right by me when I was swimming), but also adulthood (where a particularly disturbing variation of the species has taken over the Everglades),  I’m not going to offer the customary Chinese greeting: Happy Lunar New Year in the Year of the .. . . .. . ..

I would only note that for people born in previous Years of the ………….. (not me, but 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013), there is a tendency toward intelligence, wisdom, and determination. Good for you. Just sorry you emerged when you did.

Rip

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